An Epic Whirlwind of the Heart

The Blog of Travels ~

Dear Journey,
I have many things I want and need to ponder
But I will get to them as they come.
Because I didn’t come here to worry, I came to be free.
And I have to thank you for bringing me here,
enjoy..
with love, Taráz

"I have worked hard since my first job doing a paper route at 14
getting up before dawn, buying my own clothes because we
were poor and learning how to live frugally. I had many wonderful
opportunities and great work experiences with so many people
over the years.


I married and saw the height of my abilities but it all came
crashing down when that union failed. I felt like all this time and
energy was failed. I felt inadequate and my temporary solution
was to turn into a ball of joy and love, not worry about anything
and travel with my savings that was hard earned, find refuge,
give inspiration to everyone around, and in turn it healed me in
so many ways. I focused on developing my artistic nature; I
traveled to sacred places of my past and put all pains into
expressions of growth. This was April 08 and I basically became
a new age hippie, till about the end of summer 09.

I spent over a year and a few months waiting for reality to really
give something. It was such a time of profound learning, but the
free spirit lifestyle wasn’t working anymore and near the end of
this period I was broke, and tired after struggling to get by with
only a little wisdom and joy left to give. I had to really 'work' on
me again. A full and complete introspection."

going back a little,
to that time..

originally posted ~
"Eye of the Seeker"
8-20-08

We wake each day and wonder... Amidst the daily needs and outward projections, energies and emotions, I find that we really just want love to flow, for it to be strong, to be surrounded by it.

I sat at this moment to meditate on what was next. Who was next. I sat there and thought, once again, who am I ~













We must continue to search the inner work
that needs to be done during our travels.














A summer of travels ~
July- Sept - 08





















































































journals - Aug 08




"I am still young at heart, still curious, still lost in wonderment, still growing spiritually, still in a great search, for many things..

To find what our inner self is searching for and finding the right way to connect soul to "home." Finding the right one for our heart, and the endless discoveries of our own selves which will either propel us forward or keep us behind.




I love to be in a place of growth because I have always
needed to see this and learn this process more than others would.


2003







You are trying to hold on to something that was.. something that you know IS there
you just wish that you could access it. I must ask, what are we becoming? My daily
prayer is of awareness. To be aware, be strong, to love and care for others,
to strive for excellence, to listen and live this life.




and live this life...


I wake up early tomorrow, a shuttle will pick me up before
dawn. I will ride the quiet roads. The dream will come back
to me once again. In the coming months I will wake up early
to watch for deer and meditate in the forest.."


 

I felt a presence in my heart. What was this..
How I am doing really, is there enough time.
Who will I share this all with…?

Where will I go next..."
















































Other days - July 08






::Meeting fellow travelers::














I believe in you. No one is telling you any other way to be.
Feel for what you have gained in your past and have trust and
faith in yourself. Love and look forward to what is positive
and brings prosperity, remembering the Light that touches
the eyes that see.
























Poems - reflecting back - 09






"During long days the signs would reveal

Themselves in the many paths deep

In the forest of self.



And he would travel with his new companions

Commune of the things inside

The things that burn.

Round the fire many nights were spent,

awake and waiting for the turning of the moon


It was his secret language.

He could only speak to those who listened.


For it is in the openness of our minds and gentleness in our touch

that makes us, Mystic Travelers ..."

~ Tarazat

~ videos ~

(click play then pause video
to let it load or else
it may playback choppy.
And pause music at the top
before playing)

(Like an intro.. I love this
one because i blended two
different audio tracks, the drums
and the vocals and they went
together perfectly)

(This ones my favorite)

U my Love R Solar

An Epic whirlwind of the Heart

A Galactic Spin

Delicate twist of Fate

Of that which comes to Change.

~ Distantrealm

Related ~ "This Time is for New Eyes"

Tarázát Photo Visions ~ "Pilgrimage to Bahj" (Israel)

(this from the windows in pic before)

(Tel Aviv)

Letter to Life (08)

Like a poor cat looking for someone to follow home, though its easy to love,
I always felt my love was stronger with everyone I came close to.


If I live my life with feeling and hard work, is this a skill? Do people admire
those that make a living exerting themselves in a kitchen or outside doing
manual labor? Not usually. And it’s those people (I believe) that don’t live
and –see- what ‘real’ life is.


To really experience it you have to see it from a lower level, with a humble
nature of understanding, from anothers perspective. These kinds of people I
get along with GREATLY. They see that any way you choose to work in this
world is a form of -worship and they respect you for that.


That is hard to come by in this day and age.


Here we are forced to re-think our idea of making a living, having a family and
knowing what decisions to make just based on what school puts us through.
The wrong efforts are put trying to mold others (children) into what they
(parents, teachers) want (wanted) for - themselves.


I saw how money makes a family communicate less. This is for many reasons;
the 'dad' or in some cases both parents are off working away so much that there
is less and less time focused on the children. Sometimes they are taken to day
care, maybe even sent to a boarding school.


Years go by and the burden of doing the same old job takes its toll. All they want
to do is come home and plug into something. And the children are left with a
fragmented view of love and life.


When children aren’t loved and encouraged to be themselves they end up not
having any direction. This is why you find the many young ones with cars,
clothes, and alcohol taking the lead in making them feel okay with themselves.


The only other alternative to this life is excelling in school or following in
their parents footsteps but this also causes them to lack personal identity
if they were never given the space to 'be their own self.'




When my family moved to Washington we were all close because we had been living
with my granddad in Montana. My mom wasn’t working, and dad was working in
Washington. We moved there to be closer. I was about six, Dad would read prayers
to us every evening and mom was there to talk with as usual.

My mom soon had to start working. And my dad started to go to school for his
masters. We were poor. and so at the end of the day, poor people like in many
countries become very close and do everything together.



My dad knew that he needed to support us and he knew what he loved to do.
So he became a family therapist and was always there when we needed him.
And when we were home and they were away, we all took care of each-other.

To this day I still make sure everyone is happy in the family.. My idea for marriage
was that my soul could shine in another and make the other happy even if we were
poor.


In truth, money can make many insecure, emotionally out of whack, tired..
lonely.. distant.. and it eventually can take away our spiritual life. It’s how
we use it that determines this and how attached we are to the physical world..


Many families forget how to show an -interest- in the things their children ‘like’
to do, they are raised to not see enough, and they aren't shown enough love
or affection which is due to the parents being too busy minded.


The process is flawed when we forget to show them our humanness by telling them
“I love you” or “you are doing a good job” and the big one, “I’m proud of you..”


If things aren’t ok it is really soothing to hear parents offering help and guidance.
That’s -how- parents show how much they care.

The family that does not express love does not flourish.

~:~ ~:~ ~:~ ~:~

It is dramatic and real. It can be profound confusion and an immense waste of
human energy and time. Yes, love can be the greatest distraction in life. But it
is so needed and holds the key to the future of humanity.


..Now with divorce becoming popular, this new life appeals to some because they
are released from a burden. As the wounds heal.


Is it you? Whose fault is who. What do they need, what do I need.. And then money,
family drama, wants, conflict of interests and other passions makes the union of
two souls pretty much impossible. And then we go back to where it all started –
when the love was in our hearts..


It seems that just when you are coming to this huge point of understanding,
this awakened time with the idea of so much change happening, that we are
given yet another test we still haven't passed.

All I was wanting was some kind of acknowledgment and maybe even a praise.
The support during those times would have really helped. I guess my choice of
work was not appealing though.



Well let me say what that has earned me ~ ~ ~

I got certified in digital media at Bates Technical College and have been
making short films and projects for over 10 years now.

I have had a excellent resume starting with my first job lasting four years and
then doing a year and a half of service where I learned many more skills by
working with lots of people, in maintenance, grounds keeping, working with
children, banquet catering.

I came home and worked in food service (and again around people, which
I love most)

To then becoming a prep cook where I learned an art form in the kitchen

Then becoming a barista and café manager in the great downtown Tacoma!

So I have never had problems with money. Never asked my parents for money,
always enjoyed a frugal life.

You can compose many questions to your self while learning who you are.


With new realizations that seem to be never ending..


Why.. cant.. it. be. simple.


You have to truly see into the persons heart. You have to have an emotional

and spiritually balanced connection for some time to have an answer.

We all must search the inner work that needs to be done. Many give up on love.
They will settle for safety and security but just know, that the materialistic
don't make progress. You have to get out of your house.


There are too many that store everything inside.. building many walls. When by
creating these walls we are only protecting the problem, creating pressure, and
insecurity.


There is no way to understanding life by storing up all the hurt you experienced.
There is no way of being able to find love unless you let go and wake up.


We all need to wake up to what love really is ~

A giving relationship
A forgiving heart
An open mind

One forgets to simply listen, after all one goes through,
Don't shut out the lights, don't slam doors,
Listen to your words, listen to their words,
And listen to the unspoken words,

The gift of the soul

The End