One year ~ a lifetime of growth

:: My Period of Service Oct 03 - May 05 ::

When one reaches spiritual maturity you have the chance to embark on whatever journey you choose to take.. A time period where one reflects on what it means to serve humanity while deepening in their knowledge of self.

Here I spent this time providing volunteer service. Generally you live somewhere and have room, board and everything taken care of. (usually!)

It can be heaven on earth but its not meant to be easy. Many youth have never tried to go deep inside themselves and ask those important questions of faith and what their purpose is. For me, this was the time. This was the place~

~:~ Louhelen Baha'i school. ~:~

I had just finished my studies in digital media over the summer of 03, and just turned 22.. It was October 4th and I had just arrived, ready for lots of work and lots of learning.

Surrounded by beautiful acres of land and forests to explore in your free time, self awareness was the aim here. If one really is intent on this being a time to serve then you have to learn that this is a selfless act. That was the first lesson for me. And from that moment on I thrived..

Its funny that you are trying to be selfless but at the same time learning a great deal about yourself.. Its incredible what you gain from this practice.

There are sure to be many tests and difficulties along the way but it is a path that proves to have more bounty than anything else. To be away from home can be the first of tests. One gets lonely and people will find a need for distractions.

You see, so many come with the attachments they brought with them. TV, past relationships, cell phones, friends back home, your car… It is healthy and normal to have these things but you can create a once in a lifetime experience if you can just let go of this for a short while. And to try and develop your own sense of being.

After some months of this I started to write about all the distractions in my past in the form of a screenplay that spanned the duration of my time there.

The hard fact is that you must eventually leave, bring what you have learned and start over. Many youth have a kind of culture shock because they see what their friends are really like and are reminded of the condition of the world.. and we wonder what to do. and sometimes we slip back into our old routines.

I continued to have new challenges and tests.. I retreated to nature all the time.

I used this as distraction from myself at times and as a way to connect to the Creator. Even if you're only able to just meditate, you are connecting with your soul.

I was looking for a hidden truth. An unknown path. The hidden truth for me is that my distractible mind makes it hard for me to be firm and focused. It's like when I would sit in school for 8 hours; I want to do the work and I enjoy education but I just couldn't fully grasp it or focus on it. The main thing I discovered during that year and a half was that service kept my head afloat. It made the most sense - to be selfless, to be humble..

I learned my true nature through helping people. When not helping in the kitchen or outside in the gardens, my free time would be spent hiding in the back during lectures or just spending time being with children.

(co-camp counselor summer 04)

When I came home I was without an idea of my next path, cautious of who I was, what I really gained, and what would I have to offer now?

Sometimes when we are left alone once again we have to find new inspiration..

I wrote this in my journal ~

..It felt so good to pray. in the silence. in the aloneness. To write and listen to calming sounds. I felt the feelings and memories shared by all. I felt the paths and thoughts that used to flow all around. and the people came and went. the smiles and rich feelings.

I crossed my hands in silence and went deep down, deep down to that enshrouded sanctuary in my soul to plant the seed of that wonderful time captured in a timeless palace, where those memories will always be closest to me.

Now playing - Cirque Du Soleil blend w/ music
from Baraka and nature mix by Dj Ornament